The High School Principal of Louisville Male High School, Dave Wilson, was sitting in his office one day, casually reviewing the surveillance camera’s currently panning around his High School.  Low and behold, he catches two students having sex in the school’s lunchroom.  So, he did exactly what any other paedophile principal would do … he beat off (likely) to the video, walked to the lunchroom and kicked the students out of school.

Oh, there’s more … after the incident had come to a close, Dave Wilson began inviting coworkers to his office to screen the film. 

They arrived to find a darkened room with five chairs pointed toward a large white screen.Source:

No joke … a real jerk fest.  Not so surprisingly, the story gets even better.  Throughout the video screening, Wilson gives play by play commentary.  Some of the more memorable comments were, “Hey, baby, why don’t you come over here and grab my pencil” and, “It won’t take me long, I am like the minute man“.  When the video got to the good bits, Wilson would comment that he could slow the video down or speed it up depending on preference … yeah, I found it weird too.

Strangely, some of Dave Wilson’s invited guests found this sort of action a little less than satisfactory, and so they alerted some higher ups.  Needless to say, a slap on the wrist wouldn’t do so Wilson was forced to voluntarily retire. 

After probing Wilson more thoroughly, administration found various other juicy tidbits of info on Wilson.  For one, he had shown up to work drunk, which when you think of it you would likely have to do once in a while to find some semblance of normality in the zoo like atmosphere of a high school … I would likely be drunk the majority of the time, to be honest.

My favorite, though, are some of his ‘inappropriate’ comments … you couldn’t make this stuff up:

 – Telling a student that he would likely have to stop masturbating after it was discovered that said student had poison ivy.
 – Suggesting to legalize prostitution for Basketball Players so that they would win more games
 – Comparing his “member” to the trunk of an elephant
 – Says that the reason students sag their pants is because after gorillas were studied it was determined that those with larger “torsos” got more gorilla pussy

On closer examination of his comments I get the feeling that I could get along with him.  Not so sure about the paedophilia, but he seems like a humorous guy 😉


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